How to Handle Difficult Conductor Personalities Without Losing Your Professionalism

Every orchestral musician eventually encounters a conductor who makes rehearsals miserable. Maybe they single out players publicly, give contradictory instructions, lose their temper over small mistakes, or simply seem to have no idea what they want. The temptation is to disengage, roll your eyes at your stand partner, or mentally check out. But how you handle these situations defines your reputation as a professional—and can make the difference between a miserable week and a manageable one.

Separate the Music From the Messenger

The most effective strategy I have learned is to separate the musical request from the way it is delivered. A conductor who shouts “That was terrible, play it again with more energy!” is giving you the same instruction as one who says “Let us try that passage with more forward momentum.” The information is identical—only the packaging is different. If you can train yourself to extract the musical content from even the most abrasive delivery, you maintain your ability to improve and grow regardless of who is on the podium.

I watched a veteran principal cellist handle a notoriously difficult guest conductor with remarkable composure during a Mahler Symphony No. 5 rehearsal cycle. Every time the conductor made a cutting remark, this cellist simply nodded, implemented the musical change, and moved on. Afterward, I asked him how he stayed so calm. His answer stuck with me: “I’m not here for him. I’m here for Mahler.”

Anticipate What They Want Before They Ask

Difficult conductors often become more difficult when they feel the orchestra is not responsive. One of the best ways to defuse tension is to be proactively responsive. Study the score before rehearsal. Listen to recordings of the conductor’s previous performances of the same piece if they exist. If the conductor consistently asks for more bow during fortissimo passages, start giving more bow before they ask. If they always want the second theme slower, be ready for the tempo change. When a conductor feels that players are anticipating their musical vision, the antagonistic energy often dissipates because the underlying frustration—feeling unheard or resisted—is no longer present.

Build Allies in Your Section

Dealing with a difficult conductor alone is much harder than dealing with one when your section is unified. Before a tough rehearsal week, check in with your section mates. Agree on bowings and fingerings so the section looks polished. Support each other during breaks with humor and perspective. When the conductor targets one player, the rest of the section can subtly signal solidarity—a brief glance, a nod, a shared moment after rehearsal. This is not about forming a clique against the conductor. It is about maintaining morale so that everyone can do their best work despite challenging circumstances.

Know When and How to Push Back

There is a difference between a conductor who is demanding and one who crosses professional boundaries. If a conductor is verbally abusive, discriminatory, or creates an unsafe working environment, that is not something you should simply endure. Most professional orchestras have a players’ committee or union representative who can address these concerns through proper channels. Document specific incidents with dates and details. Speak to your section leader or committee representative privately. The goal is not to start a war but to establish that professional standards exist and apply to everyone on stage, including the person on the podium.

For garden-variety difficult personalities—the conductor who is disorganized, the one who talks too much, the one who cannot decide on a tempo—patience and professionalism are your best tools. These engagements are temporary. Your reputation for being easy to work with, responsive, and unflappable is permanent. In my experience, the players who build the longest and most successful orchestral careers are the ones who can deliver their best work regardless of who is conducting. That is a skill worth developing, and it serves you far beyond the rehearsal room.

Ethan Kim is the founder of Orchestra Kingdom, helping string players win auditions and move up in their sections. Follow him on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube for daily tips.